When troubles come into my life, I do not tend to be troubled or even fall into depression. I find that I cling to Jesus and look to Him to fill me so that His joy becomes my strength.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;  always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.  For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  So death is at work in us, but life in you. – 2 Corinthians 4:7-12  ESV

It is not unusual to see the enemy coming against the witness of a fruitful disciple. Could he crush and mess up our work and witness? Could he box us in and try to press us into an ungodly mold? Yes, he would like to persecute, oppress, embarrass and suppress my walk and bring me to a point of desperation.

The good news is that Jesus was exposed to the same things. If it happened to Him, how could it not happen to me. This is why we are more than conquerors. I know it is the opposite of what seems natural but it is the spirit of dying that reflects the life and death of Jesus.

So I pray. I pray so that I do not find myself complaining of a barren heart all the while knowing my heart is actually full of evil. Even as I feel destitute of love and humility, I long at the same time to be a real, sincere disciple of Jesus. I come again to a place where I see how easy it is to make a profession of religion – I will do that in my fallen nature. But to possess the Spirit of Jesus can only be enjoyed when I accept the grace of God which is filled with such a great benefit.

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right^[b] spirit within me. – Psalm 51:10  ESV

Brennan Manning wrote in Ruthless Trust that, “The foremost quality of a trusting disciple is gratefulness. Gratitude arises from the lived perception, evaluation, and acceptance of all of life is grace—as an undeserved and unearned gift from the father’s hand. Such recognition is itself the work of grace, and acceptance of the gift is implicitly an acknowledgment of the Giver.”

O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
 For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. – Psalm 51:15-17  ESV

May my commitment be found only in that grace that comes from Jesus and may my strength to serve come from that grace.